


sing your melody (i'll sing along)

by fraudulentzodiacs



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Friends to Lovers to Exes to Friends to Lovers Again, Light Angst, M/M, Snippets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26182717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraudulentzodiacs/pseuds/fraudulentzodiacs
Summary: “That’s it, baby!” Jamie slams into Jason, wrapping his arms around him as they fall against the boards. The Austin crowd is screaming around them, and Jamie is beaming down at Jason like he’s the best thing he’s ever seen. It makes Jason feel like he’s lighting up from the inside, like it’s only them on the ice. At least, until the rest of the guys pile onto them. But Jason can’t stop looking, and he thinks…He thinks that Jamie’s looking back.
Relationships: Jason Dickinson/Jamie Oleksiak
Comments: 16
Kudos: 102





	sing your melody (i'll sing along)

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a non-linear glimpse into different moments in Jamie and Jason's relationship. I took the non-linear part out but this is still pretty much just short bits showing the evolution of their relationship. I hope it makes sense to someone other than me lol.

_“That’s it, baby!” Jamie slams into Jason, wrapping his arms around him as they fall against the boards. The Austin crowd is screaming around them, and Jamie is beaming down at Jason like he’s the best thing he’s ever seen. It makes Jason feel like he’s lighting up from the inside, like it’s only them on the ice. At least, until the rest of the guys pile onto them. But Jason can’t stop looking, and he thinks…_

_He thinks that Jamie’s looking back._

Jason thinks about kissing Jamie, sometimes.

They’d exchanged numbers after Jason’s first stint in the AHL. They don’t text often, but when they did Jamie never failed to bring a smile to his face. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that being a closeted player having a crush on his teammate was a Bad Idea, but he let himself sink into it, sometimes, daydream about running his fingers through Jamie’s curls or holding his hand. He’s also a horny teenager, so he also lets his thoughts wander into more explicit territory – Jamie holding him down and sucking him into his mouth or fucking him into the mattress, riding him with Jamie’s big hands heavy on his hips.

When Jamie texts him that they’re sending him down to Austin for a few games, Jason does his best to control his excitement.

_We’ll show ‘em how it’s done baby_ Jamie texts him, and Jason has to stare at the ceiling and remember how to breathe.

“Fuck.” Jason mutters, voice rough and heavy as lips trail down his jaw and then his throat, sucking and biting in a way that’s definitely going to leave marks. “You’re gonna get me fined.”

“Mmm.” Jamie murmurs against his skin. “Worth it.”

“Says the asshole not paying them.” Jason chirps, but he only clings to Jamie’s shoulders tighter. He gasps when Jamie’s teeth dig into the space where his neck and shoulder meet. “Fuck, right there.”

“Missed this.” Jamie’s deep voice sends vibrations across his skin, makes Jason keen and thrust up despite Jamie’s weight pinning him to the wall. Jason’s mind flashes back to the last time they’d done this, Jamie going to his knees in his Dallas apartment after Jason’s first NHL game. He’d scored a goal - his first _NHL_ goal - and Jamie had told him he deserved to celebrate with a glint in his eye that Jason had been powerless to ignore.

“Me too.” Jason gasps out, rolling against the leg that Jamie presses between his legs. “C’mon, Jamie.” He begs, feeling increasingly desperate for Jamie to just _do something_ already.

“Okay, baby.” Jamie presses a sweet kiss to his cheek, and Jason can feel his face heat up at the endearment. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

_He knows he’s only been up for this long because someone’s injured, and he shouldn’t be happy about that, but he’s been in Dallas for almost two weeks now, and it feels_ right _, like it’s where he’s meant to be. And not just because of the team, because he knows a lot of it is the fact that he’s spent every night since he got to Dallas in Jamie’s bed instead of the hotel room they’ve provided for him. They never talk about it, never define it, but whenever Jason’s in Dallas he goes home with Jamie._

_The bigger man is sprawled across the bed, snoring softly with a heavy arm flopped across Jason’s waist. It feels…_ intimate _, sleeping beside Jamie. They’re not together, they both sleep with other people and go months without seeing each other, but he never sleeps better than he does in Jamie’s bed._

_He twists underneath Jamie’s hold, and whispers an apology when Jamie grunts and pulls him closer. He tamps down on the happy sigh that wants to escape when Jamie presses a kiss to his forehead._

_“Go to sleep, baby.” He mumbles, already drifting back to sleep with Jason pressed into his side._

_He’s only twenty years old, but he looks over at Jamie and thinks_ maybe forever _._

Jason’s twenty-one, and he and Jamie have been doing their thing for over a year, and Jason’s pretty sure that he’s in love. They still don’t talk about it, and maybe Jamie sleeps with other people, but Jason doesn’t, and he doesn’t ask either. He could find someone else to have sex with, but he doubts they would make him feel a fraction of what Jamie does so he just…doesn’t. And he doesn’t ask Jamie because he’s afraid of what his answer will be. He’d rather live in ignorance and hope than to know that when he’s back in Austin, Jamie has someone else to warm his bed.

They’re in Boston, licking their wounds in the hotel bar with a few of the others, and Jason’s trying his best not to lean into Jamie’s side, but it’s hard when his arm is wrapped around Jason’s shoulders as he laughs at the story Johnsy’s telling. He glances over at Jason, down at his empty beer bottle, and raises an eyebrow.

“You want another?” He asks, and Jason shrugs.

“Maybe a water? We have an early flight.”

“Sure thing, baby.” He tells him before pushing out of the booth. Jason knows his cheeks are pink, and he stares down at the bottle in his hands to avoid the knowing looks of his teammates.

Later, once they’re curled up in Jason’s bed – thank god they’ve been assigned as roommates – Jason runs a finger down Jamie’s spine.

“You called me baby, tonight.” Jason finally gets out, and Jamie hums in response, his face mashed into the pillow. “Everyone’s going to think…”

“Think what?” Jamie’s voice is rough, and Jason’s mind flashes back to earlier, when he’d had Jason’s dick down his throat, but forces himself to focus.

“That we’re…dating, or something. Boyfriends.” Jason hopes his voice sounds more casual than his heart feels.

“Mmm.” Jason murmurs, but he shuffles closer to Jason and presses a kiss to his shoulder. “Is that a problem?”

Jason pauses, stares down at the top of Jamie’s head until he tilts back and looks up at him.

“No.” He finally gets out. “Not if that’s what we’re doing.”

Jamie pushes up, nuzzles his face against Jason’s throat and drops soft, biting kisses until Jason turns and lets Jamie drape himself across his chest.

“That’s what you want?” Jamie asks, and Jason stares up at the ceiling and nods. “Then that’s what we’re doing.”

_Jamie gets scratched, and scratched, and scratched again, and they both suspect what it means. Jason’s called up for one game, and it’s tense when they have lunch together, nap together, and then Jamie’s scratched and Jason plays. When they get back to Jamie’s apartment, his boyfriend is wound so tight he looks ready to explode. Jason’s attempts to soothe him only result in Jamie snapping at him. Jason wants to be mature, but he’s young and this is his first real relationship and he doesn’t really know how to handle this, so he leaves, sleeps in the hotel room he’s provided every time and never uses._

I’m sorry _Jamie texts him in the middle of the night. Jason’s not asleep either._

Me too _he texts back, and thirty minutes later there’s a knock at his door. He lets Jamie in without a word, walks back to the bed and climbs back into bed. He hears Jamie stripping off his shirt and pants, feels the bed dip as he slides in behind him. He seems to hesitate, close but not touching, and Jason shuffles back until his back is pressed to Jamie’s front. An arm winds around his waist and he feels lips pressed against the back of his neck._

_“Baby.” He feels more than hears Jamie whisper, and sinks further into his touch._

Jason’s just landed in California for a game against the Reign when he gets the text.

_I’ve been traded to Pittsburgh_ Jamie texts him, and Jason feels his heart stutter in his chest. He wants to call him, hear his voice, find out if he’s okay, but he’s surrounded by his team.

_I’ll call you when I get to the hotel._ He texts him, and gets no response.

He gets to his room and paces the small space as the phone rings and rings. He’s sure it’s going to go to voicemail when Jamie’s deep voice finally comes on the line.

“Hey.” Is all he says, and Jason finds himself gnawing on his thumbnail as he continues to pace.

“Hey.” He echoes. “How are you?”

“Fucking shitty. I’m trying to pack.”

“I wish I could be there to help you.”

“Yeah.” Jamie sounds distant, distracted, and it only increases Jason’s worry.

“We have a bit of a break after Christmas.” Jason offers. “I can fly out, come and see you.”

There’s silence for a long time. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“What? Why not?”

“I don’t…” Jamie clears his throat, and the knot in Jason’s stomach grows larger. “I don’t think we should do this anymore.”

“Do what?” Jason hears his voice rise an octave, and tries to ignore it. “You mean, what, do us? Be together?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re breaking up with me? Why?” Jason feels panic raising, his skin overheating as his breath quickens. “I don’t understand.”

“Come on, we’re going to be far apart. And…it’s not like this was…”

“Was what?” Jason snaps, fights the urge to smash his fist against the wall. “Real? Serious?”

“Baby…” Jamie starts, and Jason growls down the phone.

“Don’t call me that.”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t think it’s worth it to do the long-distance thing. We’re young, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

Jason collapses on the bed, wipes a tear from his eye, and takes a steadying breath. “Yeah, well you are hurting me. Bye, Jamie. Good luck in Pittsburgh.”

He hangs up the phone.

_It’s been a year, and Jason’s officially a Dallas Star, officially made it to the show._

_They have a game tomorrow at home against Chicago, and Jason’s in his apartment putting dinner together when he hears the TV in the living room switch to the Pens-Caps game. He considers going to change it, when he hears the announcer._

‘And now it’s gloves coming off, and it’s Oleksiak and Wilson…Oleksiak down….Somebody better grab onto Oleksiak…gonna need some help getting to the dressing room.’

_Jason drops the onion he’s chopping and rushes to the living room, watching as Jamie’s helped off the ice by Kessel and a linesman. He stays at the bench for a while, and Jason looks for him whenever the camera pans over. He watches as Crosby shares harsh words with Ovechkin, then notices Jamie being helped back toward the dressing room._

_He waits, debates, tells himself that it’s been a year – if Jamie wanted to hear from him, he’d have reached out by now. Still, he can’t get the image of a dazed and lost looking Jamie out of his head, and finally he fishes his phone out of his pocket after he’s done washing the dishes._

Saw the fight. Hope you’re okay.

_He doesn’t get a response, but the next day the news comes out that Jamie has a concussion, so Jason suspects he’s not allowed near his phone. A few days later, his phone rings and he answers it without looking at the screen._

_“Hey.” Jamie’s familiar voice washes over him, and Jason sucks in a breath._

_“Jamie.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Are you okay?” He asks, then shakes his head. “Sorry, stupid question.”_

_“I’m okay. They think I’ll be back soon.”_

_“That’s good.” Jason feels an awkward tension rise that’s never been there before, and he hates it. “I’m glad you’re going to be okay.”_

_“I should go, these painkillers are kicking in.” He’s starting to sound kind of hazy, tired like he’d sound before he fell asleep in Jason’s arms, and Jason can’t help but smile._

_“Okay, get some rest. Thank you for calling me.”_

_“’Course, baby.” Jamie mumbles, and Jason can’t breathe as he ends the call._

They don’t talk much, after Jamie’s injury, but when Jason’s sidelined with his own injury a week later Jamie calls. Jamie’s still dealing with lingering headaches, but he still calls Jason and checks in on him, and Jason can’t help but smile every time he calls or texts. His heart still aches when he thinks too much about it, but he focuses on the fact that he seems to have his friend again, and ignores that he’s definitely still in love with Jamie.

Jason returns to the lineup after the new year, and less than two weeks later he gets a text from Jamie that has him practically flying out of his bed.

_They’re sending me back_

_You’re coming back to Dallas???_

_On the next flight baby_

Jason clutches his phone to his chest and doesn’t hesitate before offering his spare bedroom until he can find a place.

_It should be weird, having his ex-boyfriend living in his apartment, but Jamie had been Jason’s friend before he’d been anything, and they fall into a routine easily enough. They ride to practice together, they go home together, they eat together, but at the end of the day they sleep in separate beds. Jason’s sure it’s probably not healthy, but Jamie’s…well, Jamie’s probably the best friend he has, and if this is how he gets to have him in his life, Jason will take it even if he’s in love with the other man and has been for years._

_They make it to the playoffs, and it’s tied up when he sees Jamie limping off toward the dressing room. Klinger wins it for them in OT, and Jason wants to celebrate but the first thing he notices when they finally enter the locker room is the lack of Jamie. He finally finds him in one of the trainer rooms, an ice pack wrapped around his knee. They give him a pair of crutches and strict instructions to stay off of his leg as much as possible, and Jason walks slowly alongside him as they make their way to the car and then their apartment. He helps Jamie out of his jacket, sets him on the couch with a new ice pack and pushes more painkillers into his hands._

_“I can’t believe I’m going to miss the next series.” Jamie grumbles before swallowing the pills. “Fucking unbelievable.”_

_“Well, we’ll just have to make it through so you can make your big comeback.” Jason smiles, and Jamie wraps a hand around his wrist lightly and tugs until Jason sits next to him on the couch. It’s closer than they ever sit now, and Jason feels awkward, especially when Jamie uses his grip on him to pull his arm around until it’s wrapping around his chest. He’s fading quickly, Jason can tell, the medicine doing its work._

_“Thanks for taking care of me, baby.” Jamie mumbles, and Jason feels brave enough in the knowledge that Jamie’s too high from the combination of the medicine both he and the trainers gave him to press a kiss to his golden curls._

_“Of course.” He murmurs into his hair. “I love you.”_

They don’t make it past the second round. The Blues beat them in seven, and it’s late when Jason walks through his front door. He wants to collapse on the couch, but he manages to make it to his bedroom and strips his suit jacket off before collapsing face first on top of the covers.

He’s not sure how long he stays like that, but it’s still dark outside when he feels his body being jostled. He cracks open an eye and watches as Jamie slips off his shoes and socks before nudging his hips until he turns over.

“What are you doing?” Jason mumbles, and Jason chuckles.

“You can’t sleep in your suit.”

“Mmm.” Jason mumbles, but lifts his hips when Jamie tugs on his trousers. If he wasn’t so bone-deep exhausted he might be worried about popping an embarrassing boner with Jamie’s hands and face that close to his dick, but instead he just lifts his arms up when Jamie directs him so he can pull his shirt off.

“Come on, let’s get you under the blankets.” Jamie coaxes him, and Jason must be delirious at this point because he doesn’t think twice about pulling Jamie under the covers with him.

“Jase?” Jamie sounds hesitant, and Jason shakes his head against the pillow.

“Please, stay.”

“Yeah, okay.” Jamie replies, and him slipping into bed beside him is so familiar that Jason’s heart aches. His breath catches in his throat when Jamie’s hand runs down his arm before wrapping around his waist, his chin resting on his shoulder. “Is this okay?”

“Uh-huh.” Jason manages to respond. They’re quiet for a long moment, and Jason’s starting to drift off when he hears Jamie take a deep breath.

“I heard you, that night.” He whispers against Jason’s skin. “When I fucked up my knee. I heard you.”

“Can you not?” Jason begs, trying to stave off the panic he feels rising. “Tonight really fucking sucked. Can you just please be my best friend, and not the guy I confessed my love to?”

“Sure.” Jamie replies. “If that’s what you want. But I could also be both, if you wanted me to.”

“Jamie…” Jason’s so _tired_ , in more ways than one, and he’s not sure that he can handle this conversation.

“I made a mistake, when I got traded. I was hurt and angry and I lashed out at you when I should have leaned on you.”

Jason can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t do anything but hope that Jamie means what he thinks that he means.

“If you want to just be friends, we can do that. I can do that. But I love you, too. Always have. So…”

Jason musters the energy to twist in Jamie’s arms, presses his face into Jamie’s collarbone so he can press a kiss there. He hears Jamie’s breath stutter as his arms tighten around him.

“Let’s talk about it in the morning?” He asks, and he feels Jamie’s arms tighten around him.

“Yeah, baby.” He tells him, and Jason presses his smile into Jamie’s skin. “Tomorrow.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream about dumb hockey boys with me @bensseguin on tumblr!


End file.
